Recession-Not

The sky is falling yet again. CNN told me so. Not only does global warming threaten wipe out Manhattan in a CO2 powered deluge, but the world hates America, millions are dying around the world because of American Imperialism, an Imperialism powered by us Capitalist Pigs. But, CNN and NPR told me that there's a recession looming. Thank goodness. Maybe people being out of work will finally cause Capitalism's implosion, as Hillary seems to want.

But wait. There's a problem. What the heck does the word recession mean when it comes to economics? Ummm, folks. We're not even close. Yes the economy has stopped growing at the rate it had been for several years. (Around 7 percent) It's grown about 1.7 percent in the last month. But as the word itself alludes, a recession is marked by a contracture of market growth for 6 consecutive months. I'll be sure to set my doomsday clock when the FIRST month of recession takes place.

Alas. It seems I was duped again by politicians who's only hope of election is to make me believe that I can't live without them, can't make do without THEIR system. Mostly their system is comprised of taking my money and my stuff. Hey Hillary--how about a smaller system? Would that be OK? Would Karl Marx approve?

For the next few months, until the general election, maybe I'll sit around, eating Soylent Green (It's people after all, and they're not THAT important), driving my Hybrid, and toting luggage made of Hemp. Great stuff that Hemp. But I don't light Hemp on fire--it messes with Serotonin, which is kinda important. And if on election day, I still feel like everything is just bad, bad, bad, I'll vote for the Party of Defeat. You all know which one that is.

More likely though, I'll vote for whoever will create jobs by cutting taxes, maintain the best military in the world, and continue to allow America to be the world leader in virtually everything good.

Till then.